Super funny.
http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=84
http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=84
I literally cried when I read this.
- Thread starter jzanc532
- Start date
this one is just as good too
http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=77
http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=77
H
I spent a couple hours reading a bunch of these, friggin hilarious!
R
All I had to do was read the first email...I'm gonna be hooked on the site...That's some funny chit!!
That site is hilarious! I liked the one with the 97 Camry for sale and the guys dead dog. The kittens to feed the tiger was pretty funny too. Twisted mind for sure!
LOL
Theres a few gooders on there.
Theres a few gooders on there.
That first one is so hilarious- thanks for the good laugh
awesome
awesome
X
X
Looks like he trashed his cat.
Haha indeed.
great stuff!
This one is my favorite I think
http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=27
My truck is pretty big. It is a Mazda Miata. lol
http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=27
My truck is pretty big. It is a Mazda Miata. lol
H
Hope they make more...lol I read em all, much to the chagrin of my wife, who thinks mike is a sicko! I think it's shear genius
I've wasted the whole damn day reading these things!
Freaking awesome!
Freaking awesome!
One of my favorites......
Original ad:
Old/used soccer equipment wanted for my kid. Will drive to pick up anywhere near Malvern. No calls, email only: ************@verizon.net
From Me to ************@verizon.net:
Hello,
I have a bunch of old soccer equipment that would be perfect for your daughter. I have soccer balls, nets, cleats, etc. Let me know specifically what you need and we can talk prices.
Thanks,
Mike
From ************@verizon.net to Me:
Actually the stuff is for my son because I want to get him started in soccer. I'm in need of a practice net, soccer ball and kids size 6 cleats if you have them. Thanks.
From Me to ************@verizon.net:
My mistake, I assumed it was for your daughter because it is soccer. If that is the way you want to raise your son, I have some other items you may want to buy for him. I have a pink twirling baton with silver ribbons, and a cheerleader set consisting of two pom-poms, pink cheerleader bloomers, and a toy megaphone.
I'm charging $100 for the practice net, $20 for the ball, $25 for the baton, and $30 for the cheerleader set. I don't have kids size 6 cleats, but you don't really need cleats for soccer anyway. Your son could probably just use his bunny slippers.
Let me know if you are interested.
Mike
From ************@verizon.net to Me:
Well I'm definitely interested in kicking your ****ing ***. One question, *******: if you think soccer is so gay, why do you have soccer equipment, and a cheerleader set and baton?
From Me to ************@verizon.net:
Please, you aren't kicking anyone's ***. The fact that you are getting your son started in soccer instead of football says a lot about you as a man.
To answer your question, I have the baton and cheerleader set as trophies. When I was a kid, I used to go around the neighborhood and beat up all the other kids who played soccer and steal their stuff. I acquired the cheerleader set and baton from this one kid in the neighborhood, Caleb. I always knew that kid wasn't right - he used to ride around on a pink bike and always wanted to have tea parties with the other kids. I tried to help him by beating him up and stealing his baton, but I don't think it worked. I saw him in Philly a few years ago, blowing some guy in an alley. Anyway, I kept my gatherings in my shed out back as a testament to my manliness, but I need to make room for my new shotgun and power saw.
So do you want the stuff or not? I also have Brokeback Mountain on DVD. I ordered Die Hard, but that was sent to me in error. It sounds like a movie that you and your son would enjoy watching.
From ************@verizon.net to Me:
You must be so proud of what a big man you are with your shotgun and power saw.
From Me to ************@verizon.net:
You're goddamn right I am. It's just part of being a man, which you apparently know nothing about. Tell you what - forget the baton and cheerleader set. I want to help you. I'll sell you my shotgun for $1,700. It is a 10-gauge Remington that'll put some hair on your chest. Take your son hunting with it. There is nothing more manly than blowing a deer's head off and eating the raw venison from its neck.
Then, after you are done manning up, you can come back and I'll sell you some football equipment for your son. I'd hate to see him blowing Caleb in an alley in Philly some day.
From ************@verizon.net to Me:
How about you take your shotgun and stick it up your *** and pull the trigger? Go **** yourself.
Original ad:
Old/used soccer equipment wanted for my kid. Will drive to pick up anywhere near Malvern. No calls, email only: ************@verizon.net
From Me to ************@verizon.net:
Hello,
I have a bunch of old soccer equipment that would be perfect for your daughter. I have soccer balls, nets, cleats, etc. Let me know specifically what you need and we can talk prices.
Thanks,
Mike
From ************@verizon.net to Me:
Actually the stuff is for my son because I want to get him started in soccer. I'm in need of a practice net, soccer ball and kids size 6 cleats if you have them. Thanks.
From Me to ************@verizon.net:
My mistake, I assumed it was for your daughter because it is soccer. If that is the way you want to raise your son, I have some other items you may want to buy for him. I have a pink twirling baton with silver ribbons, and a cheerleader set consisting of two pom-poms, pink cheerleader bloomers, and a toy megaphone.
I'm charging $100 for the practice net, $20 for the ball, $25 for the baton, and $30 for the cheerleader set. I don't have kids size 6 cleats, but you don't really need cleats for soccer anyway. Your son could probably just use his bunny slippers.
Let me know if you are interested.
Mike
From ************@verizon.net to Me:
Well I'm definitely interested in kicking your ****ing ***. One question, *******: if you think soccer is so gay, why do you have soccer equipment, and a cheerleader set and baton?
From Me to ************@verizon.net:
Please, you aren't kicking anyone's ***. The fact that you are getting your son started in soccer instead of football says a lot about you as a man.
To answer your question, I have the baton and cheerleader set as trophies. When I was a kid, I used to go around the neighborhood and beat up all the other kids who played soccer and steal their stuff. I acquired the cheerleader set and baton from this one kid in the neighborhood, Caleb. I always knew that kid wasn't right - he used to ride around on a pink bike and always wanted to have tea parties with the other kids. I tried to help him by beating him up and stealing his baton, but I don't think it worked. I saw him in Philly a few years ago, blowing some guy in an alley. Anyway, I kept my gatherings in my shed out back as a testament to my manliness, but I need to make room for my new shotgun and power saw.
So do you want the stuff or not? I also have Brokeback Mountain on DVD. I ordered Die Hard, but that was sent to me in error. It sounds like a movie that you and your son would enjoy watching.
From ************@verizon.net to Me:
You must be so proud of what a big man you are with your shotgun and power saw.
From Me to ************@verizon.net:
You're goddamn right I am. It's just part of being a man, which you apparently know nothing about. Tell you what - forget the baton and cheerleader set. I want to help you. I'll sell you my shotgun for $1,700. It is a 10-gauge Remington that'll put some hair on your chest. Take your son hunting with it. There is nothing more manly than blowing a deer's head off and eating the raw venison from its neck.
Then, after you are done manning up, you can come back and I'll sell you some football equipment for your son. I'd hate to see him blowing Caleb in an alley in Philly some day.
From ************@verizon.net to Me:
How about you take your shotgun and stick it up your *** and pull the trigger? Go **** yourself.
This one is hilarious
Original ad:
670cc commercial wood chipper/shredder for sale. Little bit of rust but works great. Contact Joe - ***********@gmail.com
$4000 OBO
From Me to ***********@gmail.com:
Hi Joe,
Is the wood chipper still for sale?
Thanks,
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
Yes, I still have the wood chipper.
From Me to Joe ******:
I don't have $4000, but what I do have is $200 and a need for use of a wood chipper for about half an hour. Would I be able to rent it from you for $200?
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
I don't see why not. What are you using it for?
From Me to Joe ******:
Don't worry about that. So would I be able to swing by and pick it up in my truck, then bring it back about an hour later? I can leave my driver's license as collateral.
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
First you need to tell me what the chipper is being used for or you can find someone else.
From Me to Joe ******:
Okay, I'll try to explain my situation. My cat just had a litter of kittens, and I can't get rid of them. I tried giving them to my friends and putting ads online, but nobody wants them. I even tried releasing them into the wild but they keep coming back to my house. I can't stand these little ****ers pissing everywhere and clawing up my furniture. So I figure my next option is to put them down. I can't afford to have it done professionally, so I think a wood chipper would be the next most humane way. I looked up your model and saw it has a 6 inch input, which I think will be perfect for me.
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
.......................................wow. No.
From Me to Joe ******:
Why not? It is an easy $200 for you. Can't you just pretend I took it to mulch some wood?
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
No. You are a sick sick sick sick sick person.
From Me to Joe ******:
I'll give you $250 and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course). Plus, I thought about my plan some more, and I decided to put meow mix all around the input, and just leave the kittens near it. That way, if they get shredded, it is their own damn fault, and my hands are clean.
Mike
Original ad:
670cc commercial wood chipper/shredder for sale. Little bit of rust but works great. Contact Joe - ***********@gmail.com
$4000 OBO
From Me to ***********@gmail.com:
Hi Joe,
Is the wood chipper still for sale?
Thanks,
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
Yes, I still have the wood chipper.
From Me to Joe ******:
I don't have $4000, but what I do have is $200 and a need for use of a wood chipper for about half an hour. Would I be able to rent it from you for $200?
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
I don't see why not. What are you using it for?
From Me to Joe ******:
Don't worry about that. So would I be able to swing by and pick it up in my truck, then bring it back about an hour later? I can leave my driver's license as collateral.
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
First you need to tell me what the chipper is being used for or you can find someone else.
From Me to Joe ******:
Okay, I'll try to explain my situation. My cat just had a litter of kittens, and I can't get rid of them. I tried giving them to my friends and putting ads online, but nobody wants them. I even tried releasing them into the wild but they keep coming back to my house. I can't stand these little ****ers pissing everywhere and clawing up my furniture. So I figure my next option is to put them down. I can't afford to have it done professionally, so I think a wood chipper would be the next most humane way. I looked up your model and saw it has a 6 inch input, which I think will be perfect for me.
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
.......................................wow. No.
From Me to Joe ******:
Why not? It is an easy $200 for you. Can't you just pretend I took it to mulch some wood?
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
No. You are a sick sick sick sick sick person.
From Me to Joe ******:
I'll give you $250 and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course). Plus, I thought about my plan some more, and I decided to put meow mix all around the input, and just leave the kittens near it. That way, if they get shredded, it is their own damn fault, and my hands are clean.
Mike
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