Joke

[Skidoox]

A man and his wife are on vacation in Tibet. While shopping in a small village, the wife asks her husband what time it was, and looking down at his wrist the man realized he had left his watch in the hotel room. After a few unsuccessful attempts to find an English speaking local, the couple finally finds an elderly man sitting quietly on the street with his donkey.

"Excuse me," the husband says, "could you tell us the time?"

"Absolutely", replies the elderly man, and with that he reaches down and lifts the donkey's balls. "It is 3:10", the man exclaims.

"Thank you," replies the wife in a surprised voice. And the couple continues on their way. After doing some shopping and grabbing a bite to eat. The couple return to the old man for the time.

Again the elderly man lifts the donkey's balls and says, "It is now 4:45."

By this time the husband is completely amazed. "Please show me how you can tell the time simply by lifting this donkey's balls!"

"Certainly," the elderly man replies motioning for the couple to come closer. "Sit here where I am," the man begins. "Now, do you see the donkey's balls?"

"Of course", the man replies.

"Now reach down and take them into your hand." Hesitantly the husband does as he is instructed, after all, this could prove to be an enlightening experience. "Now, slowly lift the donkey's balls", he continues. Again the husband does as he is instructed.

"Now look underneath the donkeys balls, and between his two front legs." The husband does just that.

"Now," the man says, "can you see the clock on the wall of that building over there?"

 

[Skidoox]

 

[Skidoox]

 

[Skidoox]

 

[Skidoox]

Two women were at a bar. One looked at the other and said, "You know, eighty percent of all men think the best way to end a fight is to make love."

"Well," said the other woman, "if that was true, that would certainly revolutionize the game of hockey!"

 

[Skidoox]

Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport lounge in Atlanta. One is a native Indian, another is a Cowboy, the third is a fundamental Arab Muslim student.

To break the silence, the native Indian clears his throat and softly says: "At one time here, my people were many, but sadly, now we are few.

The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward: "Once my people were few, he sneers, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?"

The Texas cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a smooth drawl,

"That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet . . . but I do believe it's a-comin'.."

 

[Skidoox]

I remember when my grandpa's memory started to go.

It was the day I caught him urinating with the door open.

Which is not that bad, but it's annoying when your trying to drive.

 

[LoudHandle]

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Skidoox]

A young woman was having a physical examination and was embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go."

The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad."

"Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked.

The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."