Poll: Work bonuses and safety incentives. What do you do?

[PJ-Hunter]

I have a question regarding these. My employer gives quartery bonuses that reflect safety, production and employee productivity.

My entire career I have always taken these and saved, spent or used at my discretion. I bust my tail to be safe, do my job quickly and efficient. I see them as a reward to me. They are not a guaranteed part of my income as my salary is. Sometimes they are substantial (2000+) and sometimes not (500). But I use them to pay for my hunting, sledding and dirtbiking needs. Thus, my regular pay is used for savings and bills. I really don't see the issue but it seems that my wife has a beef with it.

So, what do you do?

 

[milehighassassin]

It really depends on my needs. At times it hits savings, sometimes it is spent on toys others it will pay the bills. I work commission so I have a rainy day fund if sales are bad.

 

[ruffryder]

Savings only. If you can't afford your fun stuff through your regular budgeting, then you really can't afford it at all..

 

[skibreeze]

My bonus' are monthly so, it's pretty much part of my regular pay. In your case, with an annual pmt, I'd definitely consider that a bonus for toys.

I set the stage very early on in our relationship. My money is just that, mine. I pay for everything in our household, so the extra money I spend as I see fit. If she wants more, she can earn it. She is a frugal shopper though, we went shopping the other day and I picked out a pair of shoes for her that she would never have bought simply because they were $70.

 

[PJ-Hunter]

SKIb, it's not an annual payment. They go on quarterly. Meaning we can get something or if that quarter was bad, we get nothing. So I take that as not a part of my income. Income is guaranteed in my book, whereas bonuses are not.

I get them, she's a govt. employee so obviously she doesn't. But I'm also the one who gets called out at 2am, I'm the one standing in the rain making sure that the heavy equipment doesn't build the road, berm or ditch in wrong spot. I'm the one that has to spend my days over a mile underground and get up at 3 or 4 am everyday to hopefully get a bonus every 3 months. Now our quarters always get announced 1.5 months after the actual quarter so I won't get the END OF YEAR incentive until Feb 15, 2012. Good thing is there, that is when we get our salry increases also. We know in November if we are getting raises or not, but how much is up in the air until the Company announces (on Wall Street) what their quarterly earnings were.

I'm not trying to be greedy or selfish, I just want other husbands take, even wives takes on it.

 

[skibreeze]

Emma and I were talking about it and she agrees with me that it should be yours to play with. It's a "bonus" Ideally that's what that kind of money should be for.

Kinda like my boss telling us to work hard during the year, but plan on not working Dec 15-Jan15. They want us to enjoy that time and recharge for next year. Life is too short to not enjoy it and monetary bonus' should not be any different.

 

[skidoorulz]

Been married for almost 34 years. The money I earn is our money and the money my wife earns is our money. We have always only had 1 checkbook and 1 credit card and 1 savings account with both our names on it. Everything we own is in both our names. I can't even imagine the my money her money mentality. Maybe I am old fashioned or something but when you get married you are in a partnership with equal shares. Seems to me a little selfish to think that a bonus is yours and not ours. After all when you are out at 2 in the morning working there is someone at home with the kids so you can be out at 2 in the morning. If your wife disagrees with the my bonus, I'll spend it as I please mentality. Then I would say you are going down a dead end road. JMHO

 

[ruffryder]

Been married for almost 34 years. The money I earn is our money and the money my wife earns is our money. We have always only had 1 checkbook and 1 credit card and 1 savings account with both our names on it. Everything we own is in both our names. I can't even imagine the my money her money mentality.

Not old fashioned... that is the way my wife and I do it.

 

[PJ-Hunter]

What works for some won't work for others. I really and truly think that if my wife and I would split bills down the middle and had separate checking accounts most of our fights would go away.

If either of us had $$ left after the responsibilities then whatever the other chooses to do is their business.

 

[skidoorulz]

How long have you been married? Any kids? 1st marriage for both of you? Not making any judgements, just curious.

 

[turbolover]

What works for some won't work for others. I really and truly think that if my wife and I would split bills down the middle and had separate checking accounts most of our fights would go away.

I had no choice but to separate our finances. Once we did that we stopped most of our fights. Not all but alot of em..

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[PJ-Hunter]

How long have you been married? Any kids? 1st marriage for both of you? Not making any judgements, just curious.

Since 1996. Two kids, both boys

Finances are our biggest issue. We both work. I get bonuses, she doesn't. She gets every holiday under sun off with pay, I get 7.
We tried it once years ago and it worked for about 8 months till she figured out that I had way more cash than she did. Just trying to figure out a way to make 2012 better.

 

[PJ-Hunter]

I had no choice but to separate our finances. Once we did that we stopped most of our fights. Not all but alot of em..

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Hey, in my book alot is a pretty good success rate. If I can get this finances thing nailed then I gotta work on the I wanna ride on my days off thing.

 

[ruffryder]

till she figured out that I had way more cash than she did.

? From what?

You you and all others:

Do you guys sit down and do monthly budgeting for all of your expenses?

 

[turbolover]

When she was in college her mom just kept bailing her out. She got into the mentality of I can just write another check because nothing has bounced. I'm not overdrawn, I still have checks.

I left to go to a school for 6 weeks. When I came home I was 7 grand in the hole. She had absolutely nothing to show for it. Took me several months to crawl out of that mess. After several times of her overdrawing my account and not being able explain why she kept spending more than I was making, I seperated our finances, completely.
After I did that and she figured that I didn't have $$$$ falling out of my behind, she straightened out and quit that bs. She had to finally figure it out when I handed the phone to her when the bill collectors started calling. They were calling for her anyway.

That was about 12 years ago. We haven't argued about money in years and I know I will have money to pay the bills.

Joint checking accounts are a great idea but.... When one part of that joint account blows the money and isn't responsible to help pay the bills, it gets seperated.
To each his own. I dont have my own account because I'm selfish. I guess if you call making sure I'm not homeless selfish, then I guess I am.
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[PJ-Hunter]

? From what?

You you and all others:

Do you guys sit down and do monthly budgeting for all of your expenses?

Well for one, my salary is more than hers. Two, I get bonuses, she does not. Splitting bills down the middle with the exclusion of the sled and a couple bills I incurred on my own, I was still putting more away.

And yeah, I have a monthly budget lined out and I really try to pay the same amount every month. Fall, Winter and Spring kinda mess stuff up with higher utilities. Summer things change with higher daycare. Usually takes a month either way to adjust but it's all good. Groceries mess crap up too. When I go to the store I can fill the cart with more and spend less, she goes and gets less and spends more. Which is really odd because she's the tightwad.

 

[skidoorulz]

Question really hit me so I have thought a lot about it since yesterday. Here is my response.

What would your Dad say? I would hope he would say, Son you are married now with 2 kids. The days of your money and my money, and the days of doing what you want on your days off, ended 15 years ago when you took your vows with the woman you love. Like it or not there are 3 other people in your life who need you. 2 of them look to you as a role model on how to be a Man. You're not acting like a man If you are out playing with your toys on your days off by yourself with your buddies while your wife and kids stay home. If you are out playing with your toys while your sons stay home then they will find other role models. If you think you're buddies will think you are PW'd because you put your family first by being with them and not your buds. then they really are not your buds. If you continue the thinking you currently have the courts are going to decide how much of your money is her money.

Sorry if I offend you but that is the way it will be. Money is the root of all evil and selfishness is also.

 

[PJ-Hunter]

Question really hit me so I have thought a lot about it since yesterday. Here is my response.

What would your Dad say? I would hope he would say, Son you are married now with 2 kids. The days of your money and my money, and the days of doing what you want on your days off, ended 15 years ago when you took your vows with the woman you love. Like it or not there are 3 other people in your life who need you. 2 of them look to you as a role model on how to be a Man. You're not acting like a man If you are out playing with your toys on your days off by yourself with your buddies while your wife and kids stay home. If you are out playing with your toys while your sons stay home then they will find other role models. If you think you're buddies will think you are PW'd because you put your family first by being with them and not your buds. then they really are not your buds. If you continue the thinking you currently have the courts are going to decide how much of your money is her money.

Sorry if I offend you but that is the way it will be. Money is the root of all evil and selfishness is also.

My Dad??!!! LMAO. He took complete paychecks drank, whored and bought new cars (He worked out of state alot when I was young) and left my mom pennyless and alone to raise 4 kids. So yeah, not gonna take financial advice from him.

Yes, I have toys and I ride them. My kids also have toys (bikes, ATVs and sleds) and they ride them. I also take my oldest out hunting with me and to easy meadows to ride sleds. Away from parking lot cowboys and idiot drag racers so he can be safe. My wife has been invited numerous times (she even has her own sled) and she declines. So I did my part.

Financially, my kids are taken care of. They get food, clothes, live under a very nice roof and have their own toys and educational toys. The oldest plays soccer and hockey and I do go watch those games. So neglect isn't the issue. I wanted to know opinions about bonuses that I recieve from doing my job safely and have a great productivity record.

 

[coyoteman]

My situation almost matches yours to a T. We have 3 daughters. I manage a sucessful business I built from nothing, as well as farm, my wife has a state job. I make quite a bit more than she does and also get bonuses.
My bonus money gets deposited in our account just like a normal pay check and she decides where it goes. It may go into savings, pay something off or into one of our retirement funds. I don't have a clue where it goes unless I ask.
If I want to buy something I ask her what she thinks and she usually tells me which account to pull the money out of. I am lucky she hardly ever argues when I want something. I can honestly say I have no clue how we sit financially from day to day, other than we are lucky. I just spend until she says I need to slow down.
We have never argued over finances and I am very glad she handles the money in our relationship. She is tight and I like to spend.

 

[skidoorulz]

Well you got my opinion. Mine is hers, hers is mine. Sorry you didn't have much of a role model, but it looks like you did learn one thing from your dad. It is mine I'll do what I want. I will be done now cause it is looking more and more like you are looking for people to agree with you and I will not. I truly hope the courts don't make the decision for you. They include bonuses in their decisions.