A
This is a little long but worth the read. I should preface it with a warning - do not drink eat or otherwise be engaged in using your mouth while reading. you have been warned...
When I was about 10 my dad got me one of those little bada$$ compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land
sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you
know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor will take 6 broadheads before it
goes down? Tough sumbich.
Before very long that got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazzard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up Tshirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. Keep in mind this was 99.999% humidity swampland so there really wasnt any fire danger.. Ill put it this way- a set of post hole
diggers and a 3ft. hole and you had yourself a well.
One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten
oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport next to the broken down Farmall and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (ether). The light bulb went off.
I grabbed the can and set it on the stump and notched an arrow. Before I lit it I thought to myself that it would probably just spray out in a dissapointing manner - lets face it to a 10 yr. old mouth-breather like myself, "ether" really doesnt sound all that flammable.
So, I went back into the house and got a 1-pound can of
pyrodex (black powder for dads muzzle loader rifles).. At this point, I set
the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My
intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the ether can but it all
sorta dumped out. No biggie... 1 lb pyrodex and 16 oz ether should make
a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?
You know what? Screw that. Im going back in the house for the other can.
Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.
I stepped back about 15ft and lit the 2-stroke arrow.
I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a 'clunk' as the arrow launched from my bow...
In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my
dad getting out of the truck... OH shat he just got home from work.
So help me God, it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to
the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in
his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow
pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the
main pile of pyrodex and into the 2nd pile.
Oh.
snap.
When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I dont know if it was
the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back
from 235 decibels of sound. I caught a half a milisecond glimpse of the
violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was
dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1ft above the ground as far as i
could see. It was like a little low-to-the-ground layer of dust fog full
of grasshoppers, spiders, and a crawfish or two.
The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.
There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture.
Notice i said "was".
That mother got up and ran off.
So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my thundercats Tshirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what i can only assume is a Viet Nam flashback, 'ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE, YOUR BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE DAMIT CEASE FIRE!!!!!'
His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft over our backyard.
There was a Honda 185s 3-wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires. I wish I
knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I dont know- I know I said
something I couldnt hear anything but a terrible loud ringing. I couldnt hear inside my own head. I dont think he heard me either.... not that it would really matter. I dont remember much from this point on.. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....
repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea.
I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR so dad could beat me some more. Bring him back to life so dad can kill him again. Thanks mom.
One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again. Mom
had been bit(hing about that thing for years and dad never did anything
about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business!
Dad sold his muzzloaders a week or so later. And I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating. Or both. I
guess what im trying to say is, get your kids into archery. Its good
discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.
When I was about 10 my dad got me one of those little bada$$ compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land
sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you
know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor will take 6 broadheads before it
goes down? Tough sumbich.
Before very long that got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazzard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up Tshirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. Keep in mind this was 99.999% humidity swampland so there really wasnt any fire danger.. Ill put it this way- a set of post hole
diggers and a 3ft. hole and you had yourself a well.
One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten
oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport next to the broken down Farmall and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (ether). The light bulb went off.
I grabbed the can and set it on the stump and notched an arrow. Before I lit it I thought to myself that it would probably just spray out in a dissapointing manner - lets face it to a 10 yr. old mouth-breather like myself, "ether" really doesnt sound all that flammable.
So, I went back into the house and got a 1-pound can of
pyrodex (black powder for dads muzzle loader rifles).. At this point, I set
the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My
intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the ether can but it all
sorta dumped out. No biggie... 1 lb pyrodex and 16 oz ether should make
a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?
You know what? Screw that. Im going back in the house for the other can.
Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.
I stepped back about 15ft and lit the 2-stroke arrow.
I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a 'clunk' as the arrow launched from my bow...
In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my
dad getting out of the truck... OH shat he just got home from work.
So help me God, it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to
the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in
his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow
pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the
main pile of pyrodex and into the 2nd pile.
Oh.
snap.
When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I dont know if it was
the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back
from 235 decibels of sound. I caught a half a milisecond glimpse of the
violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was
dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1ft above the ground as far as i
could see. It was like a little low-to-the-ground layer of dust fog full
of grasshoppers, spiders, and a crawfish or two.
The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.
There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture.
Notice i said "was".
That mother got up and ran off.
So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my thundercats Tshirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what i can only assume is a Viet Nam flashback, 'ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE, YOUR BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE DAMIT CEASE FIRE!!!!!'
His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft over our backyard.
There was a Honda 185s 3-wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires. I wish I
knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I dont know- I know I said
something I couldnt hear anything but a terrible loud ringing. I couldnt hear inside my own head. I dont think he heard me either.... not that it would really matter. I dont remember much from this point on.. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....
repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea.
I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR so dad could beat me some more. Bring him back to life so dad can kill him again. Thanks mom.
One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again. Mom
had been bit(hing about that thing for years and dad never did anything
about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business!
Dad sold his muzzloaders a week or so later. And I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating. Or both. I
guess what im trying to say is, get your kids into archery. Its good
discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.
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