A 50 year old woman decides to give herself a facelift
for her birthday.
She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the
results .
On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a
newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't
mind my asking,
But how old do you think I am?'
'About 32,' is the reply.'
'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks
the counter girl
The very same question.
The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.'
The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops
in a drug store
on her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks
the clerk this
Burning question.
The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.'
Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old
man waiting next
to her the same question.
He replies, 'Lady, I'm 81 and my eyesight is going.
Although, when I was
Young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman
was. It sounds
very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands
under
Your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY
how old you are.'
They wait in silence on the empty street until her
curiosity gets the
best of her.
She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins
to feel around
very slowly and carefully.
He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches
each nipple.
He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against
each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay,
okay....How old am I?'
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes
his hands, and
says, 'Madam, you are 50.'
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was
incredible, how could you tell?'
The o ld man says, 'Promise you won't get mad?'
'I promise I won't,' she says.
'I was behind you at McDonalds.'
.
for her birthday.
She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the
results .
On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a
newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't
mind my asking,
But how old do you think I am?'
'About 32,' is the reply.'
'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks
the counter girl
The very same question.
The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.'
The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops
in a drug store
on her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks
the clerk this
Burning question.
The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.'
Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old
man waiting next
to her the same question.
He replies, 'Lady, I'm 81 and my eyesight is going.
Although, when I was
Young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman
was. It sounds
very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands
under
Your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY
how old you are.'
They wait in silence on the empty street until her
curiosity gets the
best of her.
She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins
to feel around
very slowly and carefully.
He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches
each nipple.
He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against
each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay,
okay....How old am I?'
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes
his hands, and
says, 'Madam, you are 50.'
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was
incredible, how could you tell?'
The o ld man says, 'Promise you won't get mad?'
'I promise I won't,' she says.
'I was behind you at McDonalds.'
.
