Ladies need help teaching wife

CoyoteGirl said:

Some great advice here. It would be nice if after a few rides, of hopefully following this advice, you check back in here and let us know how it is going! :beer;

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Agreed.....Great advice!!!!

Dang...I wish someone would have done that with me when I was first starting...That would have cut a couple years off the learning curve for sure....

from my experience, I am most receptive when my hubby considers the following:

1. Do not jump right in and start giving advice, tips, etc. Obviously, you know your wife, but you might consider either waiting for her to ask you for your advice, or ask her if you could offer a few pointers....

2. When your wife asks for help (such as getting unstuck, anything mechanical, loading/unloading, etc) don't jump right in and do it all - work with her to accomplish the task. A person learns far more by doing than by watching someone else do....

good-on-ya for seeking advice!

I agree with everything Polar Express said. If you follow the advice here she will learn so much faster! I can see how a spouses advice might not be taken as seriously as other's, but for us it's not really a factor that much. Maybe sometimes, but I think we trust each other more than most of the other people.. I don't know. But I can see how having one other couple there and switching up might be a great idea.

When I first started riding again after not being on a sled for several years, my boyfriend gave me his Polaris 900 to ride. What a heavy beast, and I had no clue what I was doing. Had never learned to carve, sidehill, etc. He didn't show me, we just took off up a canyon. A place that is hard to get into sometimes for even experienced riders. There was new powder, no trail, LOTS of trees and steep. (I wish he'd taught me a few basics before, but it still wasn't a big deal. I can laugh about it now.) It took me forever to get to the bowls, tipped the sled over constantly, rolled it over myself and it went a long ways down before he caught it. But I somehow knew to use the throttle and he said many times the sled was ready to toss me or tip or get stuck I just pinned it and hung on. That day was one of my hardest. I wasn't scared or nervous because I didn't know any better and had never wrecked a sled. At one point he came back to find me and I was partially under the tipped over sled, at the very edge of a bad draw we wouldn't have gotten it out of, hanging onto the track to keep it from rolling into the draw- just barely balanced on the edge. He was a bit surprised I think.

Couple days later a big group of guys went in there and some of them had a really hard time. Like almost gave up and couldn't make it. One of the guys kept giving them hel* because so and so's girlfriend did it, you guys suck! After hearing that from everyone, and knowing I did better than guys that had been riding a few years, I felt pretty good. My point is: definitely give her praise when she learns something or does well. Even is she shrugs it off (like I do), keep telling her. It will help! I think confidence and aggressiveness makes up for a lot of lack of skill.

help build her confidence instead of always breaking it down by getting mad and yelling. Really what does anyone get out of yelling? When she gets stuck try finding something she did very well and complementing her on that.

snowbabe said:

help build her confidence instead of always breaking it down by getting mad and yelling. Really what does anyone get out of yelling? When she gets stuck try finding something she did very well and complementing her on that.

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It really is as simple as that. Now if only it wasn't so hard for some significant others to do it!
You're from Montana, same as Arctic1...hmmmmmm...???know him?

This is a great thread. Lots to learn here. I can teach very well, I almost became a diesel tech instructor. But I found one thing along the way. I can teach men easily. I have a really hard time teaching women. I'm not a not a knuckle dragging male pig, its just that I've found women have an entirely different thought process.

I've taken my girlfriend(which i'm certain will be my wife fairly soon) out many times, but after reading all of the posts here I realized i was doing things wrong. I never yelled at her, but I think i was giving too much info and tutorial. Alot of what happens on a sled cant be taught. Only learned through experience.

And the group thing. I haven't been out alot where its just us. Seems like we are always in a group. Thats gonna have to change some until she gets skilled. She's agressive, she just needs to learn the technique of mountain riding.

I'm definetly going to take up all the advice on this thread. Thanks ladies and gents for all the great advice.

Really good info here!!!

Nice that you asked for some help!!!
Nice will get you much much further than Not Nice!
I didn't know what a snowmobile was in 99' ... ever since then, I LOVE to sled. I enjoy quadding, but PASSIONATE about sledding. Why? It's fun, It's thrilling and my hubby made me feel like I did great from the very first stuck and still chuckles with me if I stick her, today! I chuckle when I am helping his stucks. He is simple with his words to me and it made it less stressful. Example:, "No Big Deal", "No biggy, it happens to all of us", "Let me help you, you did great" and "I'm just glad your not hurt, don't sweat it sweetie". I was always relieved that it wasn't a big deal and so I really didn't put to much merit in getting stuck again. I felt like it was part of it. I felt like it was FUN! So I took it from there, because who doesn't want to have FUN. I was open for suggestions, from him but also from another couple ...her hubby ... it helps. But first and foremost my hubby ONLY ENCOURAGED ME always. He made me feel like I did great no matter and that sledding was challenging to Everybody and he Loved that WE were out there. It only makes you want to do better! I am a total winter chica and love having FUN with family & friends. That is why we all ride, to have FUN. I KNOW you are going to have Success with this, because you asked, means you care and because she's out there, means she cares ... make the change and have FUN!

If there is another expeirenced rider in your group that she is comfortable with, see if they are willing to help her. I get laods better when it is someone other than my Dad helping me. She wants to please you too much, but she might not care if she doesn't please someone else.Laugh all the mistakes off as long as that doesn't make her feel worse. Never make her feel stupid and helpless. Try to challenge her, but make it fun!! Yelling will only bring tears and all they do is make the stiuation worse. Find an area that she is comfortable in with a medow and a hill and just make that your practice area. My group starts out every trip at the same hill just to make sure everyone is comfortable again.

Soccerd6 said:

from my experience, I am most receptive when my hubby considers the following:

1. Do not jump right in and start giving advice, tips, etc. Obviously, you know your wife, but you might consider either waiting for her to ask you for your advice, or ask her if you could offer a few pointers....

2. When your wife asks for help (such as getting unstuck, anything mechanical, loading/unloading, etc) don't jump right in and do it all - work with her to accomplish the task. A person learns far more by doing than by watching someone else do....

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x2!!

The communication difference between men and women can get magnified at the mountain. Sometimes, I just want help getting unstuck and getting back to riding. I don't want to hear how I "should have done this, or that".....BUT, I might ask you about it later.

It is brave of you to post this. Congrats. Some of this information may have already been said, but, I can tell you, I have an ex because he would yell at me when I was learning to boondock. I was getting stuck alot, come to find out, the sled was setup for him. . . 6'9 300 lbs. Ooops. So make sure it is set up for her!

Can you find another couple to ride with?? I learned alot from riding with another female. We do things different then men do. We do not have the upper body strength you do. Therefore, our shoulders fatigue before yours. One saying someone taught me, that I still say to this day. "get off your azz and give it gas". It goes along way to building that confidence. Also, teach her to counter steer. Get in a meadow and play around with that. Much of my frustration in the earlier years would have been resolved if someone taught me that.

You keep us posted on how she does this year. :face-icon-small-hap

Mrs Snowrider said:

It is brave of you to post this. Congrats. Some of this information may have already been said, but, I can tell you, I have an ex because he would yell at me when I was learning to boondock. I was getting stuck alot, come to find out, the sled was setup for him. . . 6'9 300 lbs. Ooops. So make sure it is set up for her!

Can you find another couple to ride with?? I learned alot from riding with another female. We do things different then men do. We do not have the upper body strength you do. Therefore, our shoulders fatigue before yours. One saying someone taught me, that I still say to this day. "get off your azz and give it gas". It goes along way to building that confidence. Also, teach her to counter steer. Get in a meadow and play around with that. Much of my frustration in the earlier years would have been resolved if someone taught me that.

You keep us posted on how she does this year. :face-icon-small-hap

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We Are Divorced?..dang it ...

I have not read everyone's reply.

First, don't yell at her. Does she yell at you? Think about how you would feel riding with your buddies and everytime you got stuck, they yelled at you. That is how she feels, but worse. This is the lady you love and are married to; treat her with the respect she deserves.

I don't know if I would tell her you were excited about coming to dig her out though. She will know you are lieing, but telling her it was an awesome stick and a really great try is believable. My husband told me he could tell that I was becoming a better rider because my crashes and stucks were becoming much more dramatical.

We watched the movie Schooled and I thought it was awesome. Sure Bret is this 5'6" 130 lbs guy, but I can learn to ride like him, or kind of like him. Watch the movie a few times and practice. There is always room for improvement.

It is just all about practice. Stand tall and finness the sled, don't try to work it or it will work you to death. Let her follow you and do what you do, then let her play and practice. Nice meadow, small hill for turnouts and side hilling.

Well I better post before I get cut off.