If I were you... contact Justin Silber directly with what you want to run and see if he can help you out with a "kit".
What is it that you are looking for that the current kit offerings are not delivering??
As for the BOV... there are many out there that have been running the lower boost setups, say sub 12 lbs 2860's without a BOV... for the higher boost "Race gas" kits, it seems that most do run a BOV.
OVS and Boondocker have external wastegate setups now... I believe that you can order a Silber kit set up with an option for an external wastegate... I'm sure he'll chime in on this.
As Justin said above... don't confuse the Dobeck versions with each other... It is more the mapping than the "Box" that gets the job done.
You will, I'm sure, see some other controllers or stand alone units emerge in the near future...The Power Commander brand may have something to offer as well as others... but for now the choices are Dobeck variants... Boondocker has theirs but, I do not believe that they will sell you a stand alone unit.
With the PRO RMK... it will boil down to how much time you want to spend tinkering as compared to riding. Both are good, but go into it with both eyes open.