Are you afraid to go without your significant other?

No, not just Em... But yeah, she rocks!!!! Adrienne met Em and I in revy once, all by her little self with her sled on her truck, and I went to Golden to film for a day... About 12 hrs return trip for me. That was my first time riding with a group of ladies. Tam told me there were quite a few gals that did that... I thought it was pretty ballsy.

When I ride with my hubby, he gives me lots of room. The last time I got stuck I was out and riding up on the group by the time he got his radio out.

I feel dirty for being here but I'm looking for insight on my newly wed. She has always been the dirty not so girly(most of the time) horse riding crazy 4 wheeler girl. I know we are off to a great start, right!

But this last year I bought a new dirt bike and gave her my old one. Its in perfect shape and the smaller of the two so she is not riding a pile or anything. And when we goes she goes ridding she is VERY slow and doesnt look like she is having fun. I dont get it, I have seen her ride utility atv's faster than I would ever think of riding them and she goes at such a slow speed on the bike its crazy.

Any ideas on building her confidence on the bike. She says one of here biggest problems is we only got to ride maybe once a month last year and so it to far in between but I just need some tips. The other odd thing is she keeps thinking she is going to break the shiny bike I have given her and I will get mad but I try and tell her how Ive cartwheeled it through the rocky desert a few times and the bike is fine and she will not break anything, and even if she does I dont care as long as shes not hurt.

I also want to get her a sled but I fear she will treat it the same. I think she tries way to hard to impress me by not crashing she doesn't push to have more fun.

Probably just need more seat time, man I hate living in town!

Any help!

As 1Mex has pointed out, my vote doesn't count because I don't have a significate other. He'll be finding his own ride to the parking lot this winter. :face-icon-small-sho:face-icon-small-hap:boink: Luv ya Hector!

As others have said, it's more about how comfortable you feel with who you ride with. I have traveled by myself places to ride with people I have only talked to on hear but never met until I got to the parking lot. I let my son (15 at the time), make all the arangements for one of his school teacher in Montana to be the guide and I took a long weekend and spent it riding with someone I had only spoke to in emails, mostly about my son's grade, and had a great time.

Riding with just GP a couple times last year was a blast. Both rides we came back with no gas left and the biggest smiles on our faces. They were truly the best rides of the year.

Do I ride different with people I have never rode with before......YES! But once you get to know their riding style and level, all is good.

Don't be afraid to get out and play even if your partner can't. Go have fun the snow is only here for a few months.

FrozenMOTO said:

Any ideas on building her confidence on the bike. She says one of here biggest problems is we only got to ride maybe once a month last year and so it to far in between but I just need some tips.

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I don't know how you can get her past the fear of breaking YOUR toy. It's a courtesy thing. Maybe you can hand her the title too... say "it's truly yours baby, go break it!".

Other than that, once a month is not enough (for me) to get my groove on. If you really want to get her confidence flowing I'd think once a week (atleast!) is what is really needed. All my opinion though.

Well after getting to ride with the ladies last year I must say I would :heart: to just ride with girls! It doesn't make me nervous at all- in fact, I feel more comfortable with the decision making that goes on with a group of girls, when we lack those guys who are pushing everyone to do something that might be on the risky side... If there is someone in a group of girls who says "I don't feel comfortable" none of the girls are going to push it- boys, on the other hand are not always thinking of what's best for anyone but themselves. (And I won't hear "why did you do that?!", "I said don't let off!", "why are you stuck again!?", etc, etc....)

Besides- now I'm going to have to ride without a "significant other" cuz he is non-existent!! :face-icon-small-coo

Oregongirl said:

I LOVE to ride with just the girls!! I'll go in a heartbeat! arty: arty:

However the trust thing is big, but for some reason, I have more innate trust in women than in men anyway. :face-icon-small-sho Very few women that I know/ride with are going to blindly rush up a hill just because it's there. IMO a woman is more likely to take stock of other riders in the group. At least the women that I ride with would. :heart:

And, if it's only women, I prefer that the group be no less than 4. Because of that whole physical strength thing.

Truth be known....after one terrible ride with SO, I told him that I was done riding with him and would ONLY be riding with the girls. LMAO!! Things improved after that.....in fact, that's when I got my new sled.

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CoyoteGirl said:

I don't know how you can get her past the fear of breaking YOUR toy. It's a courtesy thing. Maybe you can hand her the title too... say "it's truly yours baby, go break it!".

Other than that, once a month is not enough (for me) to get my groove on. If you really want to get her confidence flowing I'd think once a week (atleast!) is what is really needed. All my opinion though.

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^^^ Ditto! Getting out more often helps the confidence a whole lot.

For the sled thing...if she wants one go for it. Let her choose what she wants/likes, and set it up for her (not as a back-up for you). If she hasn't ridden sleds before....there will be a learning curve. If she has, great.

Play follow the leader....tell her you are going to follow her for the day. As I was gaining in confidence and skill (which is a never ending process), the hubby and I did this. Unbeknownst to me, he was surprised (but happy) as to where I was picking lines to ride. I got braver as the day rolled on (we still do this at times), and saw stuff I wanted to do & felt I could do. That first time of doing it....my husband still talks about it. I didn't pay attention that it might have been stuff that I may have balked at if I were following him around....I was doing my own thing...and I had a great time. Towards the end of that first time...his comments..."I can't believe you just did that, but I'm very proud of you"...and did the *knuckles thing* to me. :face-icon-small-coo Only then did I give any real thought to the lines I was picking going up and around through the trees. His reinforcement of my choices, gave me even more confidence in myself. To this day, it really wasn't a big deal to me...I was loving that he spent the day following me and felt great about where I chose to go...but I look upon it with very happy thoughts.

CatWoman said:

^^^ Ditto! Getting out more often helps the confidence a whole lot.

For the sled thing...if she wants one go for it. Let her choose what she wants/likes, and set it up for her (not as a back-up for you). If she hasn't ridden sleds before....there will be a learning curve. If she has, great.

Play follow the leader....tell her you are going to follow her for the day. As I was gaining in confidence and skill (which is a never ending process), the hubby and I did this. Unbeknownst to me, he was surprised (but happy) as to where I was picking lines to ride. I got braver as the day rolled on (we still do this at times), and saw stuff I wanted to do & felt I could do. That first time of doing it....my husband still talks about it. I didn't pay attention that it might have been stuff that I may have balked at if I were following him around....I was doing my own thing...and I had a great time. Towards the end of that first time...his comments..."I can't believe you just did that, but I'm very proud of you"...and did the *knuckles thing* to me. :face-icon-small-coo Only then did I give any real thought to the lines I was picking going up and around through the trees. His reinforcement of my choices, gave me even more confidence in myself. To this day, it really wasn't a big deal to me...I was loving that he spent the day following me and felt great about where I chose to go...but I look upon it with very happy thoughts.

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Ya we do this as well but she always likes to follow me to push herself to go faster and ride better. But I can not see her behind me without looking back all the time. I am really considering getting radios in our helmets so that we can talk and see how she is doing. I always forget to look back at some point and then she is gone and I think she crashed or something and go back and there she is cruising along.

Next year we may buy a new sled for her. We both really like the looks of the new poo and etec, so I figure we will see what they change on the poo and etec, and maybe artic cat with come out with something great to.

I'm also thinking of getting a 600 but she thinks an 800 will be just fine, what do you think! Also if any of you live around northern Idaho I bet she would love to go ridding with you gals, I want her to get out more and have fun. Of course it will have to be next year as she is packing a mini me right now.

I used to always follow too. Pushed me (not always in a good way), but also if I messed up, he wasn't seeing it.

When we first started the follow the leader thing, I honestly didn't expect my hubby to stick with it the whole day. So I did ride conservatively for the first half of the day. I was self conscious of him watching me. He didn't give up....and it was the whole day, and the 2nd half is where I came to life. I knew I wanted to do some playing, and after making sure that he wasn't sticking too close to me to where if I decided to stop it would cause him to run into me or get stuck....I don't know what it was, I just let loose.

If she feels she can handle an 800, let her have it. I have a 600....and I've been ready to move up for some time.....just have to wait for finances to fit in line with that (I don't like to be maxxed out with loans). My sled was my choice, but had I to do it over again, I would have went with something more. I have to ride a whole lot harder in order to be able to do the same things that would be simpler on a higher hp sled. Tires me out faster/sooner. :face-icon-small-blu

I think you'll find most of the gals in here are VERY supportive of men whom are truly interested in doing the right thing for their spouse/SO. Good on you for trying to make things better for HER. It's nice to see that! :face-icon-small-coo

Oh, and congrats on the little one!!

ya I have decided that the new snow check we get next year HOPEFULLY, she will get to pick it out. Also I think sleding will be a little bit better for her than the dirtbikes as she is always telling me that the bike just feels like nothing is there, she is used to riding horses and big ATV's so the sled should give her a more solid feel. Also the snow is usually not as hard as the dirt when you do mess up.


As for the little one I'm pretty stoked, now I have to worry about what age to start buying him/her toys. Then as he/she gets older then they can have my hand me downs, :face-icon-small-hap

FrozenMOTO said:

Also the snow is usually not as hard as the dirt when you do mess up.

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Lol, that is what I have always thought about the dirt bikes. Hit the dirt one too many times off the horses to make me really want to crash and burn on a bike. I'll take the snow! Congrats on the bundle of joy! He/she is going to be lucky to have a dad like you!

Hmmm CatWomen, I think I'm still gulity of not wanting to lead. I just don't want to have people watching me mess up I guess. It sounds silly when I actaully write it but it is true. I can show horses and not let it bother me but the sleds are different.

WYsteph said:

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Hmmm CatWomen, I think I'm still gulity of not wanting to lead. I just don't want to have people watching me mess up I guess. It sounds silly when I actaully write it but it is true. I can show horses and not let it bother me but the sleds are different.

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I guess I should clarify that better. If we do an all day thing, it's just the hubby and myself. There are a few times I'll lead when riding with other guys along...but that's basically when busting through fresh pow on an easier/flatter section on our way to go boondocking someplace. We have one area in particular that it's basically a road for a few miles, but nice stuff along the sides to swoop up on or dip down into. I don't mind on this because everyone behind is so busy busting up and down....and I can carve my way through the deep pow and just let go and have fun. Every now and again I still get that feeling of them *watching* me...but I let it go for that particular area.

I don't think I could lead to go boondocking knowing all of the guys were behind me. :face-icon-small-blu I can completely understand where you're coming from on that. Kind of weird too....I can watch them get stuck, tip over, run into trees, fall off, etc....and I don't think anything of it. But it's not something I really care to have them watching me do. :face-icon-small-con Maybe we worry more because we are girls riding with the guys and don't want them looking down on us??? Not that I think the peeps I ride with would do that....I've never really thought about it in that much depth before.

cool thread... i think it brings up a lotta great things that SHOULD be thought of. it makes me feel good to know that as women we see our 'limitations' (i hate saying that cause i, of course, feel like i don't have any....) but I do... we all do really though, men and women alike... we have our strengths and weaknesses and putting a group together to attack the backcountry nasties should be a well balanced group. often women tend to have a lot of the SAME strengths and weaknesses so they don't always make the best group to attack nasty stuff... but to go out and have fun?! heck yeah!! I know when I'm riding with a group of ladies I'm very concious of where I 'drop' into any area where recovery may be harder. I also try to make sure the women I'm riding with have an understanding of where we're at since that isn't always a woman's strong point (stereotypically of course and I LOVE being proven wrong!!)

But it's good to see that some of you REALIZE these things. Sometimes I would have ladies rides develop and the ladies wanted to go hit REALLY nasty stuff to prove that we could! and I always voted it down because we did NOT have the group to do that sort of thing!

Being afraid to 'ride with out a man' is silly but so is heading into the nasties without a well balanced group!

Also, it's important to be able to sum up your abilities, strengths and weaknesses when riding with different people. Knowing someone will be straight up with me REALLY helps set my mind at ease when I'm riding with new partners!!

And, like Amy said... heck yeah it was cool the weekend I mobbed up to Castlegar, picked Amy up for a whole weekend of riding when we didn't even know each other and then had Adrienne roll up by HER lonesome with the pink sled loaded up! That was a VERY cool weekend!

Not a problem.. but with consideration of the other persons ability. I enjoy sharing a new experience with those who have never really met Mother Nature and riding with those who will push me to get to know her better.

I just wanted to add that the weakest rider should set the pace of the group, and that rider is NOT always a woman. Pushing people into places where that are above their ability is bad for the whole group, and frustrating and dangerous if someone is in over their head. That person might not always want to admit that they can't climb to the next bowl, or make that next poke up through the trees, but I think it is everyone's responsibility to guage their group's riding ability and set the course accordingly.

powderpilot said:

I just wanted to add that the weakest rider should set the pace of the group, and that rider is NOT always a woman. Pushing people into places where that are above their ability is bad for the whole group, and frustrating and dangerous if someone is in over their head. That person might not always want to admit that they can't climb to the next bowl, or make that next poke up through the trees, but I think it is everyone's responsibility to guage their group's riding ability and set the course accordingly.

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SOOOO true amy!!! as women too the whole pride factor comes up often and we have GOT to be aware of that! I remember i went climbin with some dude one time and he was in SOOOO freaking far over his head cause he had been saying stuff to impress me and didn't relaize I was gauging my ability honestly! it did not end well and he got hurt and had to bail from the route! I was young and dumb then!! i ditched the dude and went on with some other climber who was muchmore solid and made the other guy wait at the bottom, his injury was NOT life threatening!! NOW though I try to be MUCH more senstitive to this issue and try to read skill level in little things along the way and often I've said I myself am tired or nervous of snow conditions or whatever and taken the blow to my pride rather than make someone else (male or female) get in over their head!

Yup, there's been more than one occasion where you and I held back for other riders. I recall cutting a day short completely once for a guy that was in too deep with us. I also remember telling him how we've been riding since we were 5 so he didn't feel bad about it :face-icon-small-win

Not afraid at all. I haven't met any other females in my area that actually "ride" the way I do so I'm always out with the guys. As for significant other...not a problem cause he too is non-existent. I'm happier sledding and snowboarding now.

Frozen Moto - Seat time is key to building my confidence! (I am an avid dirt biker too.) Building strength, which we can do by riding but also help by working out, also builds confidence. To me, riding dirt is the most intimidating of all the sports we do because of the hard earth we ride! I would definitely recommend taking her out as much as you can and just be patient and allow her to build her strength and confidence mostly at her comfort level but pushing her here and there just a tad beyond her comfort level every now and again so that she can easily reach new levels which will build her skills and increase her speed as well as encourage and motivate her.

As far as sleds go - sounds like she will probably take to sledding better if she is used to larger machines and animals! (Snow is much softer to land in!) Awesome to let her snow check next year!

BTW - It's so awesome that you are taking such a sincere interest in helping your SO to improve her abilities and enjoy herself more! Your on your way to having a great riding partner!

Frozen moto- does she have protective gear? If she was wearing a vest, knee pads, etc maybe she would feel more confident? But it also takes time. The more time I spend on a sled the faster my responses are, and the more confident I am. I grew up training colts and if she rides she knows how much time that takes. Experience and time mean a lot. My husband is a better sledder and snowboarder than I am, but on horses I'm the one that is really experienced. When you start to take her sledding, I think one of the best things is to go somewhere easier, and not push too hard. Don't go where there's really technical areas, or areas that are do or die. She needs to get comfortable handling the sled and learning techniques in safe terrain first.

And when she's learning, take those days as just learning/ fun days. Don't expect it to be a challenging ride for you, keep it fun and light and help her learn the basics and important techniques. If she has to keep up with all the guys when she doesn't even know how to ride, it's going to sour the experience and make it more stressful than fun. My husband and friends took a lot of time helping me learn and being patient, and it has paid off.

Kristy- I don't have any women here to ride with, but I would go without my husband if there were. I care more about riders attitudes and how reliable they are than anything. The people I ride with are people I'd be comfortable riding with whether my husband is there or not. And if it's someone I wouldn't want to ride with alone, we probably wouldn't go with them anyway. 90% of the time I can get my sled unstuck or out of a tree myself. It might take more time, but unless it really just involves brute strength I'm confident I can eventually get out. I also try to know my sled mechanically as well as I can. I carry tools, and lots of other things that I've ended up needing. Adds a few pounds, but I can fix my sled on the mountain for the most part. Most of the guys we ride with are better mechanics than I am, but I'm pretty comfortable with my mechanical abilities without them also.

(I will admit I have read my shop manual several times). I think learning your sleds mechanics and carrying your own tools, as well as learning to get your sled out of bad situations, can go a long ways towards your confidence. Knowing I can handle most difficult situations without a guy around makes a difference in my riding. But when I'm riding with guys (brute strength available!) that I can trust and depend on, I feel I can take more risks. If I was riding with one other girl, I wouldn't get myself into some of the situations I do. But with several women together, well I've seen how effective that can be with sticks and trees. Don't underestimate the creativeness and strength of a bunch of experienced women riders!