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HOW TO SELL TOOTHBRUSHES

mmsports

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HOW TO SELL TOOTHBRUSHES

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited.

Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next:

"I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."

"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn.

The teacher held her breath ...

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes!" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample."

They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog ****!"

Then I would say,” It is dog ****. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

"I used the governmental approach of giving you something ****ty for free, and then making you pay to get the ****ty taste out of your mouth."
 

mmsports

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Nov 27, 2007
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Ok one more for the Bug spray sales man.

The Bug Spray Salesman

A salesman was traveling through the country side, flogging insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer. "Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again. I guarantee it."



The farmer was dubious. "Young man, I'll make you a proposition. I'll tie you out in my cornfield absolutely naked, covered with that bug spray. If there is not a single bite on you come morning, I'll buy a whole case from you and get everyone in the county to buy a case we will make you rich.



The salesman was delighted. They went to the field and he stripped. The farmer sprayed him thoroughly with the bug spray and tied him to a stake. Back to the house went the farmer.



The next morning, the farmer and his family trooped out to the cornfield. Sure enough, the salesman was there, hanging in his bonds, not a single bite on him. Yet he was a total wreck!



Pale, ghastly, haggard, and drawn, but not one bite on him.



The farmer was perplexed. "Son," he said, "Now, you don't have a bite on you but you look like hell! What the hell happened?"



The salesman looked up through bloodshot eyes and croaked, "Doesn't that calf have a mother?"
 
L

Lank

Member
Nov 26, 2007
141
21
18
54
Wyoming
Kinda like the Bible salesman that was somewhat of stutterer, he would go up to the door of a home, knock on the door, when the tennant come to the door, the stutter would say: "I a-am h-h-here to r-r-r-epresent t-t-the l-l-local b-b -brethren of the U-U-U-nited M-M-M-ethodist ch-ch-church. I-I-I- am t-t-t-rying t-t-t-o help r-r-r-aise m-m-money f-f-f-or the ch-ch-church b-b-by s-s-s-elling B-B-Bibles. I-I- c-c-an either s-s-sell you one o-o-r s-s-stand h-h-h-ere a-a-and r-r-read it to you.
 

mmsports

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New at your local COSTCO

<table style="margin-left: 1in;" class="MsoNormalTable" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody> <tr style="height: 188.5pt;"> <td style="padding: 0in; height: 188.5pt;" valign="top">
<table style="margin-left: 8.4pt;" class="MsoNormalTable" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top">
<table class="MsoNormalTable" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top"> One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies
. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - A lot cheaper than a doctor."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco. He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample... He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity.. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Costco.."

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results.. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results
.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm.. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours.. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Costco!

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mmsports

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Splinters in Her Crotch







<table style="WIDTH: 99%; BORDER-COLLAPSE: collapse" class="MsoNormalTable" width="99%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0in; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; WIDTH: 100%; PADDING-RIGHT: 0in; PADDING-TOP: 0in" valign="top" width="100%">

<table style="WIDTH: 99%; BORDER-COLLAPSE: collapse" class="MsoNormalTable" width="99%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0in; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; WIDTH: 100%; PADDING-RIGHT: 0in; PADDING-TOP: 0in" valign="top" width="100%"> <table style="WIDTH: 99%; BORDER-COLLAPSE: collapse" class="MsoNormalTable" width="99%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0in; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; WIDTH: 100%; PADDING-RIGHT: 0in; PADDING-TOP: 0in" valign="top" width="100%"> A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat,

and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA .


There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She

wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started

to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a

spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid

down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.


In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She

told him she was an environmentalist, a democrat, and an anti-hunter

and asked how could she get all the splinters removed. The doctor listened

to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the

examining room and he would see if he could help her.


She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The

angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?" He smiled and then

told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental

Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land

Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a

"recreational area" so close to a waste treatment facility. I'm

sorry, but due to ObamaCare they turned me down."


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mmsports

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Preston, Idaho
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THE LADY GOLFER AND THE FROG

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a
mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.



Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.

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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife ..



Moral of the story
: Women are not really smart, they just think they are.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!


 

mmsports

Well-known member
Lifetime Membership
Nov 27, 2007
3,140
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Preston, Idaho
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My favorite animal.

My Favorite Animal

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."

She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.

I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders."

Guess where I am . . .
 
S

skidoorulz

Well-known member
Nov 21, 2007
1,828
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Billings Montana
HOW TO SELL TOOTHBRUSHES

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited.

Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next:

"I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."

"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn.

The teacher held her breath ...

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes!" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample."

They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog ****!"

Then I would say,” It is dog ****. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

"I used the governmental approach of giving you something ****ty for free, and then making you pay to get the ****ty taste out of your mouth."

I finally figured out what snowmobilesrme name is! It is Little Johnny
 
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