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This is a letter sent along with a passport application....
Dear Mr. Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and
still cannot believe this.
How is it that Radio Shack has my address and
telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v.
cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal
Government is still asking me where I was born and
on what date.
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?
My birth date you have on my social insurance card,
and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for
the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance
card, my driver's license, on the last eight goddamn
passports I've had, on all those stupid customs
declaration forms I've had to fill out before being
allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and
all those insufferable census forms that are done at
election times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all,
that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name
is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that
ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!
****!
I apologize, Mr. Minister. I'm really pissed off
this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of
this bull****! You send the application to my house,
then you ask me for my f..kin' address. What is
going on? You have a gang of Neanderthals *******s
workin' there!
Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I
don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for **** sakes.
I just want to go and park my *** on a sandy beach.
And would someone please tell me, why would you give
a **** whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next
15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something
weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure
as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the
other end of the city and get another f..kin' copy
of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60 !!!
Would it be so complicated to have all the services
in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new
passport the same day??
Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make
sense. You'd rather have us running all over the
f..kin' place like chickens with our heads cut off,
then find some ******* to confirm that it's really
me on the goddamn picture - you know, the one where
we're not allowed to smile?!
(f..kin' morons)
Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally
pissed off!
Signed - An Irate f..king Canadian Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture
and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well,
my family has been in this country since 1776 when
one of my forefathers took up arms. I have served in the military for
something over 30 years and have had security
clearances up the yingyang.
I was aide de camp to the lieutenant governor of our
province for ten years and I have been doing
volunteer work for the RCMP for about five years.
However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify
who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS
BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST f..king CHINA!!!
Dear Mr. Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and
still cannot believe this.
How is it that Radio Shack has my address and
telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v.
cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal
Government is still asking me where I was born and
on what date.
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?
My birth date you have on my social insurance card,
and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for
the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance
card, my driver's license, on the last eight goddamn
passports I've had, on all those stupid customs
declaration forms I've had to fill out before being
allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and
all those insufferable census forms that are done at
election times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all,
that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name
is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that
ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!
****!
I apologize, Mr. Minister. I'm really pissed off
this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of
this bull****! You send the application to my house,
then you ask me for my f..kin' address. What is
going on? You have a gang of Neanderthals *******s
workin' there!
Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I
don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for **** sakes.
I just want to go and park my *** on a sandy beach.
And would someone please tell me, why would you give
a **** whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next
15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something
weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure
as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the
other end of the city and get another f..kin' copy
of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60 !!!
Would it be so complicated to have all the services
in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new
passport the same day??
Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make
sense. You'd rather have us running all over the
f..kin' place like chickens with our heads cut off,
then find some ******* to confirm that it's really
me on the goddamn picture - you know, the one where
we're not allowed to smile?!
(f..kin' morons)
Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally
pissed off!
Signed - An Irate f..king Canadian Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture
and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well,
my family has been in this country since 1776 when
one of my forefathers took up arms. I have served in the military for
something over 30 years and have had security
clearances up the yingyang.
I was aide de camp to the lieutenant governor of our
province for ten years and I have been doing
volunteer work for the RCMP for about five years.
However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify
who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS
BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST f..king CHINA!!!
