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May 5, 2013

Is Global Warming Cool?



Steve Janes


Now I don’t want to be a party pooper … but is global warming still cool? I mean, for the past decade there has been a movement that asserts that if you are anybody important, you have to assume that global warming is hot. And anyone who doesn’t agree with this philosophy is not.

After all, the ice caps are melting, polar bears are floating out to sea and civilization as we know it is near extinction.

Yet, this spring marks the second-coldest on record … just slightly warmer than the spring of 1975.

But if you’re in with this whole global warming thing, you understand that global warming can also mean global cooling. Actually, it tends to mean whatever is happening to the weather at the moment.

Bottom line, the combustion engine has caused our earth to turn into an out-of-control thermostat set on high. Translation: We’re all going to go to die. (I’m not sure if these environmental extremists were aware of the fact that since the beginning of time, we have all been destined to die.)

Al Gore made a movie about the disastrous consequences of global warming (he also made millions of dollars with this scam as well), so it must be true. The CIA opened an entire investigative branch as part of national security to monitor global warming (although they really didn’t monitor much … mainly sent their top-ranked agents and political appointees to some beach in the Caribbean  to work on their tans during two-week government paid “fact-finding” missions). (New York Times, 11/20/12)

Democratic lawmakers have even warned us that if we don’t give them authority to legislate global warming, then all our women will likely have to turn to transactional sex for survival. (The Hill, 4/29/13)

Oh, and for the record, when environmental extremists realized the phrase “global warming” was becoming a joke because anybody with any intelligence knew that the earth has always experienced climate change, these politically correct whack jobs hijacked the term “climate change” to adopt the meaning of global warming.

To lead the charge for the government to have control in everything we say and do, President Obama has invoked the name of God and science to call us to repentance. According to our president, science recognizes “climate change” (although that doesn’t necessarily separate the true definition that the earth goes through heating and cooling processes over time from the environmental extremist definition that the combustion engine has turned up the thermostat on the earth’s heating system). He also says that it is our responsibility to God to allow the government control to regulate our lives. (Obama Inauguration Speech 2013)

Perhaps if we were a more righteous nation, or a more righteous world, God would adjust the earth’s thermostat to be more moderate when it comes to weather patterns. Or perhaps we’re experiencing a cold spring because throughout the course of history some springs are warmer than others and some springs are colder than others. Fact is, there is no science that can separate facts from opinions. Environmental extremists have been predicting these meteoric conditions for the past 20 years … the Bible has predicted them for the past 2,000 years. Somehow the Johnny-come-latelies haven’t connected the dots with the words of God.

I just wish global warming (now known as the new climate change) wasn’t so cool. And that today’s “cold” isn’t the new hot. It’s just getting too hard to keep track of things.

SJ



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